We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
