the condom got lost in my hair
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
