I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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