I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
