The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
