I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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