She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize