You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
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