dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
