the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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