"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Dicks are not precious.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
