he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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