Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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