belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
