I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
