dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
