I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
