I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
