Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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