is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
