Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
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