You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
