Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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