I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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