I cannot find my penis.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize