Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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