why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
