Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
