you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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