LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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