i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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