She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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