Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm both gender and math confused
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
