He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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