Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
His nipple licking is glorious
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