we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
