I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
