That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
