Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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