dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
