come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
