Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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