12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
