So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
