yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she was so not down for the gang bang
My balls are so social today.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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