Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
