How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
