It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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