You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
