My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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