my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize