you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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