Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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