one might say we're banned from that church
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
