Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
