Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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