Small penises have feelings too.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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